Iliman Ndiaye, Globetrotters-Level Moves and Sobering Football Stats

YOU’RE TELLING US THERE’S A CHANCE?

Unless you’ve missed the video of Iliman Ndiaye pulling off a backwards bouncing trick at Everton’s training ground, it’s a good watch. In executing a move so spectacular that it would have been appropriate at a Harlem Globetrotters exhibition match, the skill quickly concluded what was meant to be a casual practice to conclude what had been – up to that point – an informative discussion about how Sunday league footballers can secure a fresh start after being released by professional academies.

Ndiaye, who featured in non-league games directly before being signed by Sheffield United at 19, is expertly placed to speak on this topic. “Don’t focus on the rejection and one day your luck is going to materialize,” he informed a young player just before using said ninja move on his opponent, in doing so perfectly illustrating the gap between Premier League and amateur footballers he had been trying to bridge.

Ndiaye isn’t the first professional footballer to go slightly overboard. Prime Michael Owen cheerfully overwhelming a teenage keeper in front of a annoyed Neville Southall is undoubtedly the prime example in this particular niche – but the ex-Anfield star is just one of many culprits. Both Christian Eriksen and Shinji Kagawa have made young children cry with a series of brutal nutmegs, although it’s believed that the latter was at least driven by the Japanese player’s social media disgrace caption – “this frustration makes a person stronger” – and the accompanying hashtag of #friendship.

Kagawa’s former Dortmund teammates Lukasz Piszczek, Jakub Blaszczykowski and Nuri Sahin at least had the good grace to be defeated against 100 children when the three played during the half-time break of their farewell game for BVB. A Real Madrid XI that featured Cristiano Ronaldo and Xabi Alonso were more competitive when they played against 109 Chinese kids in a like situation. But back to the start, it’s calculated that only 180 of the 1.5 million boys currently playing structured junior soccer in England will ever appear in the Premier League, a sobering statistic for toddlers and teenagers across the country.

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DAILY HIGHLIGHT

“The game guided me but it never deserted me because I never gave up on my goal. I went from team to team. The love of football carries you. I couldn’t always see where it was leading me. But today I have the solution” – head coach Veljko Paunovic takes time out from his preparations to reflect on his career.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

“Nice to hear that Kevin Mac Allister isn’t going to be left home alone by Argentina. Ideally, if he travels to the Bigliest Most Peaceful Cup next year, he’ll research how to get about the host cities – let’s avoid him being disoriented in New York” – James Humphries.

“Sources state that 1,024 players in the Turkish league have been suspended due to potential connection in a gambling controversy. It would be wonderful if that number could be bumped up to the same level of typical pedantry associated with Football Daily – that is, 1,057 readers. By my math, that’s about 33 more pedants. If I agree to be excluded from playing professionally in Turkey (not much of a loss at my age and, um, skill level), are there 32 more folks willing to assist my effort for harmony?” – Mike Wilner.

“As a daily reader and Florida resident, can I proactively complain about the upcoming week-plus of published letters about which route one uses to get to various locations in your homeland? I mean, I was delayed in congestion on I-4 at 2am on a Tuesday night driving through Orlando once, but that’s the entire tale. There’s no satisfying lesson to the tale. (I-4 joins Tampa on the Gulf Coast to Daytona on the Atlantic via Orlando/Walt Disney World, and can have congestion problems at any time)” – Rasteen Nowroozi.

“Apropos Wythenshawe FC, I remember many years ago playing for a Sunday, very casual team, Turnpike Lane Hibs, on Clapham Common. One morning a bloke presented as ‘Danny’ turned up to play. I have no idea who recruited him. Supposedly he was an actor; he had a useful left foot. (Yes, Daniel Day-Lewis)” – Jason Steger.

“Together with some co-workers and mates, I play a game of football each Friday afternoon. Our most experienced participant is approaching eighty, while the least experienced are in their twenties. To ensure a positive atmosphere for everyone, we have a simple rule of thumb regarding the skill level: you can be quick or talented, but preferably not simultaneously. We occasionally have players who break this guideline, but usually typically reduce them to our quality over time” – Lars Esbjerg.